Courage

What a great message at church this morning. Have I told you that this adoption scares me to death? The fact that I have no idea how it's going to go, how we are going to pay for it, how old he's going to be, what Lily will think of sharing the spotlight...it all scares me to death. But consistently over the past 3 weeks the Lord has reminded me that He does this to me on purpose. I have to trust Him when I can't figure things out on my own, so He constantly puts things in my path that I can't control. 

The message this morning was about fear being an opportunity to be courageous. God wants us to be courageous in this adoption-- to move forward in obedience even though we don't know how it's going to work out. That's no problem for Kyle-- he is not tempted by fear like I am. One of the principles in the sermon was that we have to be courageous in order for those around us to know that they can trust God when they are courageous. Kyle has beautifully modeled courageous obedience to me, and I'm so thankful for his example. Thank you Kyle, my lion of courage. I love you and I'm proud of the example you are for our family. Your little boy is already blessed by your courage and he doesn't even know it yet.

What do you know about Nepal?

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I'm pretty sure everyone knows that Nepal is home to Mt Everest, along with 8 of the other 10 highest peaks in the world, but don't be embarrassed if you aren't 100% sure where Nepal actually is. I've pasted a map above to show you that it's between India and China (Tibet actually), and though this map cut off most of the word, you can see that Lily's hometown of Chengdu is not too far East and North of Nepal. How cool is that? If you could pan left, you would see that Nepal is about as close to Chengdu as Beijing is.  It would be awesome if we could visit Chengdu while we are on Operation Little Brother, but I'm not sure how feasible that will be. If Lily's at home, we'll want to get back to her ASAP, and if she's with us, I'm sure we'll still want to cut the trip as short as possible.

You may also be wondering what a Nepali child might look like? There are 40 different races and tribes within Nepal so it is quite a diverse country. Based on all of the pictures I've seen, they are a beautiful people and Lily and Lil' Bro may actually look alike. Not that that is a primary concern, but we always thought it would be a "nice to have" for our kids to share something beyond the same parents. Looks like they will both have dark hair, dark eyes and perhaps dark skin. 

Beyond that, we can just wonder if he'll have the same twinkle in his eye as his big sister, or the same long legs and stick-straight hair. What we don't have to wonder about, though, is whether he will be hand-picked by God for our family, because we know without a shred of doubt that God knew since before He formed the Earth that I would be his mom and Kyle would be his dad, and that he'd have an amazing big sister. He even knows what his name will be and whether he'll have any younger siblings. Wish I did!

 

Paper, paper, paper

Our counter looked like this picture for most of last week, and by Monday morning it was all neatly organized in that snazzy accordion file and hand delivered to our (local!) and very sweet and knowledgeable social worker. (If you ever need a social worker in this part of Texas, let me know-- I highly recommend this one.) The other great thing about this home study is that it will be far less expensive than usual because it doesn't have to go through an agency. We're talking a third the amount. Thank you Jesus for something being cheaper for a change!

I only have a couple of documents that I still need to get to her before she does our home visit on Monday, then she can start writing. As soon as she finalizes the home study, we can send it to USCIS with our I-171 (immigration) application. I am hoping that takes no more than 5-7 weeks, during which I can compile the documents for the dossier (some are duplicates from the home study documents). There aren't very many at all compared to China, and they don't have to be certified or authenticated (a ridiculous process where the Texas Secretary of State and Chinese Embassy certify that the documents are real) so a month should be plenty of time to get it done. 

I'm hoping our dossier can be sent to Nepal sometime in August, at which point we can begin our official wait. The program reopened so recently that there really is no way to predict what that wait time will be. I'm just hoping that Lily will have a sibling in her same generation. Beyond that, I hesitate to even wager a guess. Maybe 2010, maybe 2011. Someone else received their referral today, but I don't know when their dossier was sent. It could have been there since before the program closed last year, although some of the people who have sent dossiers this year have received referrals already so it doesn't appear that they are necessarily going in order. 

Until then, I bury myself in paperwork and keep looking for ways that the Lord is providing for this adoption. We can't really afford it, but when we started Lily's adoption we couldn't afford it either. However, God abundantly provided everything we needed for Lily's adoption and I know He will for this one too. (This time I hope He chooses a different way than giving us 2 extra years to earn it, but beggars can't be choosers!) 

Want to know how He has provided already? Yesterday I got a call from the accountant saying our personal and business returns were (finally) ready for me to pick up. I assumed it was bad news since I'd think they'd want to share any good news over the phone (reason #432 why I don't think like an accountant). I didn't think much of it the rest of the day, but at the last minute I remembered to swing by their office on my way out of town. I braced myself as I opened the folder in the parking lot, then I went like this: "!!!!!!".  Because of the adoption tax credit (thank you George Bush!) we are actually getting money back, and it should be enough for the first round of expenses we'll have for Nepal. Yeah! 

Then I remembered what my devotional said that morning that hit me right between the eyes: 

Rest in Me, my child. Give your mind a break from planning and trying to anticipate what will happen. Pray continually, asking My Spirit to take charge of the details of this day. Remember that you are on a journey with Me. When you try to peer into the future and plan for every possibility, you ignore you constant Companion who sustains you moment by moment. As you gaze anxiously into the distance, you don't even feel the strong grip of my hand holding yours. How foolish you are, My child!

Remembrance of Me is a daily discipline. Never lose sight of My Presence with you. This will keep you resting in Me all day, every day.

I Thessalonians 5:17; Psalm 62:5

How foolish I am! I never stop scheming in my mind how everything is going to work - finances, travel, how Lily's going to do with another kid in the house, which room will be his, blah, blah, blah! Planning is not a sin, but scheming because I think I need to figure it all out on my own-- which usually comes with anxiety and worry-- most definitely is. Lord, forgive me for trying to rely on myself. Thank you for your provision, and thank you that it was something I wasn't even expecting so that you could show me that it came from You, not my own schemes and plans. Thank you that you are faithful even when I am not. 

Then Kyle crawls into bed after talking with Kristian on his drive here and tells me that although they loved Kathmandu, it is basically a war zone. Hello fear, you're back so soon! SO GUESS WHAT MY DEVOTIONAL SAID TODAY??? Trust me and don't be afraid. Don't let fear dissipate your energy. Instead, invest your energy in trusting Me and singing My song. The battle for control of your mind is fierce, and years of worry have made you vulnerable to the enemy. Ask Him to control your mind; He will bless you with Life and Peace. Isaiah 12:2; Romans 8:6. I am so thankful that I have a God who knows exactly what I need, when I need it. 

Introducing...

...The Road to Baby Boy Harrell!

Born: Yesterday

Via: Answered prayer

Vital Statistics: Kyle and I have been praying that God would clearly show us how He wants us to build our family. We want more kids but didn't have clear direction on how or when to proceed. All manners of building our family cost money, which does not floweth over since I quit my job last year, and though we really wanted to return to China since we left our hearts there, that door has closed for us since they changed their guidelines in 2007. 

So we started praying that God would show us what to do, and I was asking Him to please do it soon (in His timing, of course... but c'mon already!) I've had the baby fever bad lately, and Lily is already 2 1/2 and I'd love for her to grow up with siblings in her same generation, you know? Plus, Kyle and I are not getting any younger.

Anyway, Kyle felt led to pursue another adoption from Asia, but it didn't look like China, Korea or Taiwan were an option for several reasons. Then I happened upon Nepal when looking on Rainbow Kids. I assumed it wasn't an option since I hadn't heard much about it, but I read a family's story about it and it seemed appealing, so I filled out the contact form on Rainbow Kids for agencies participating in Nepal to contact me. 

I started getting emails from agencies saying their Nepal program was full for 2009, and some even for 2010 so I didn't have much hope until I heard from one agency that they had just had a family drop out so they had an opening. I immediately got excited (not new for me-- I can get excited about pretty much any chance at a child) and talked to Kyle about it. And here's the difference-- he got excited too so we sent our application after praying and doing a little more research.

Well that was only yesterday and already I have a pile of stuff for our home study and a social worker waiting in the wings. We all have doctor's appointments in the next 2 weeks and I just did our Texas Department of Safety Criminal Checks online. I think we set a record for the slowest paperchase for Lily (10 months) and I'm trying to set another one this time for the fastest. No moss will be growing under my pile of paper! My fingers have been itching to get this going and I'm so glad God (and Kyle) finally gave the green light! Thank you both!

We wanted a boy anyway but Nepal only lets you adopt a child of the opposite gender. We are asking for as young as possible, and they require that he be younger than Lily, so we can only guarantee that he will be younger than her, and I'm assuming she'll be 4 by the time we get a referral. I am thinking 18-24 months from now, although it could be sooner (as if THAT ever happens in the adoption world). If I had a dollar for every ridiculous prediction I made during our Lily-chase.... so I'm leery of making them now. But I have the walking talking reminder that God is in control of the timing and He can and will move mountains and governments to make sure the child He has chosen us for comes home at the appointed time. I just hope He's setting an early appointment for BBH!

Anyway, we are excited and hopeful but also guarded. Nepal is a beautiful but unstable country as far as the government goes, and adoptions have temporarily closed several times. And their Prime Minister stepped down last month so it's been even more tumultuous of late. Still, referrals have begun to arrive for families who submitted their documents when the program reopened in January, so we're hoping that's a good sign.

So here we go again! Get your dramamine and boy stuff out if you want to come along.