Lily named her little brother

Kyle: Lily, what is your little brother's name going to be?

Lily: Uncle Paul.

Kyle: That's right, he's from Nepal, but what should his name be?

Lily: Tow truck.

I'm thinking it may have something to do with the fact that she loves Ca*rs characters lately (she's wearing "Lightening Mr. Queen" jammies as we speak).

Grandy thinks it will be a good name for a lineman. "That masterful block by Tow Truck Harrell opened up a hole for Canady to score, and now the Niners lead the Cowboys 49- 0."

It's 3:00 - do you know where your child is?

Your next child, I mean.

Could he or she be in Nepal?

If you don't already have children of both genders

are between the ages of 30-55

and are either a single woman or have been married for at least 4 years

then Nepal may be the program for you.

Nepal is a beautiful country with a rich heritage

and extreme poverty.

If you think God may be whispering in your ear

about a child from Nepal,

send me an email and I'll give you the name of 2 agencies

who have current openings for their Nepal programs.

You don't have to have a spare room

$25,000 in the bank

or a book on Nepal.

"God is not impressed by our ability,

nor is He hindered by our disability.

He is simply seeking our availability."

Dossier Complete!

Our I-171 finally came yesterday so this morning I faxed everything to be ok'd by our agency (it was), our friend comes to notarize the last few documents this afternoon, then off it goes with a big ol' check to our agency, then off to Nepal. Phew!

So now what? I wish I knew. It really just means that we join the line of families waiting to be matched with a child from Nepal. To my knowledge the families who have been matched so far sent their dossiers in February and March. This may or may not mean that we will receive a match within the next 7 or 8 months. It will likely be longer.

In other good news, our agency received it's first 2 referrals this week for families who sent their dossiers earlier this year. That is very exciting!

Thanks for praying for us and for our little boy while we wait. I'll keep you posted!

Still no I-171, but referrals keep coming

It is so exciting that more families are receiving referrals and travel approvals, but it's making me even more anxious to get that stupid piece of paper in the mail from Homeland Security! I mean, I'm so glad they are busy keeping our homeland secure, but we would like our home more full, and we can't do that without one more piece of paper with the word "Approved" at the top. There is an adoption officer at the local USCIS office who is in charge of the adoption approvals so I guess I'll send him an email tomorrow to see what the hold up is. I probably won't word it that way though.

In other more exciting news, Little Brother has received his first gift. My friend Kim knitted him the cutest brown and light blue lovey-- it is SO soft! How fun to have something that's his. Thank you Kimmie! Since he doesn't have his own room I don't quite know what to do with it. I used to put gifts for Lily in her room (and close the door) but that little lovey won't stand a chance if it's in Big Sister's room this whole time. We're planning on the kids sharing a room so that we still have a guest room, but it doesn't make sense to change it around yet. Not that we'll need to do much changing. There's already a spare toddler bed in there that just needs some retro cowboy bedding on it instead of a Dora blanket and we're good to go. I think we'll need another dresser too (or do boys need a whole dresser for their 3 pieces of clothing?). And perhaps I'll make the window treatment more boy-friendly and get rid of the pink flowers on the mirror. And the
floral trays on the wall. Dang. I guess it's not ready to go.

And my friend Cara told me that she's been praying for LB's birthmom lately. Maybe she's giving birth? Struggling with the decision to give him up? Missing him? I immediately felt a rush of guilt when she told me, because I've been focusing on praying for him and not really praying for his family. But that's why God gave me Cara-- to pray for LB's mama because He knew I wasn't. The body of Christ is so cool (I just hate when I'm the hiney).

Officially Expecting

Our I-171 (immigration approval) that is. It's the last thing we're waiting for to complete our dossier and be officially in line. I just looked back at the dates and I think it's reasonable to start expecting it as early as this week. (Yes, I just used reasonable when describing an action by a government agency. Silly me.) So perhaps it's not smart to start expecting it, but I'm doing it anyway-- I officially check for it every time I get the mail. I think seeing the movement in Nepal has made me start to realize that we aren't sending our dossier in vain, so it makes me even more ready to get it there. C'mon, mail!

Nepal Adoption Blogs

I've added links to the left of 3 families who are adopting from Nepal, and two of them are in Nepal now! It is so exciting to be able to follow their journeys and see a glimpse of what it may be like for us. I say "may" because these are the first few families to travel so things may change once we travel. If I can be so picky two of the changes I'm hoping for-- that we have more than 3 days' notice to travel, and that we have an identified return date. But I'm not going to be picky-- if these families can get ready in 3 days for an indefinite trip, we can too. If I can remember clearly, I was completely useless in the 2 weeks before we left for China, so we may as well leave in 3 days.

One thing that I've learned on the travel blogs that Nepal does differently than China is that you visit your child in the orphanage for a few days before you take him with you to the hotel. That is so much better for attachment, and far less traumatic. I'm sure it will be very difficult to leave the little fella at the orphanage once we've met him, but knowing it will help his transition to us will help us walk out that door.

The other blog in my Nepal Adoption List is my friend Tonya's, who I am SO glad to have met. My friend Amy, told me about Tonya when she found out we were adopting from Nepal. Tonya and her family were in China adopting their daughter Noelle just 2 months before we were there, and they also used America World. They have a cool story about how they came to choose Nepal for their next adoption, so go check it out on their blog.

Anyway, they live in Maine so we haven't actually met, but we've talked on the phone a couple of times and guess what-- although they were with a different agency at first, they are now using our same agency, so there is a chance that we may travel together to get our boys since we're pretty much on the same timeline with our dossiers. How cool would that be? I never even thought to pray for a Nepal friend, and God gave me one anyway! Adopting from Nepal seems quite lonely compared to China-- there is no Rumor Queen , no Families with Children from Nepal, no Nepali First Baptist Church, the next Olympics aren't in Kathmandu ... you get the idea... so it's even more special to have someone to talk with, pray with, and wait with on this journey.

And now I'm praying that we'll also be able to receive our referrals at the same time and travel together too. They are also requesting a boy aged 1-3, so I'm also praying that our little fellas are at the same orphanage so that they can maintain their connection after they are adopted. If we receive our referrals within the next year (I don't know how likely that is, so don't go holding me to that) and the boys are 3 at referral, they may be about 2 right now. Will you pray with us that our boys are not only well taken care of, but loved and cherished? And will you pray that God has already begun to whisper in each of their ears, words of love and belonging, and that He would give them visions of who their families are so they *know* us when we arrive? It's never too early to pray for these specifics, and while you're at it, you may as well ask that they are good sleepers, especially on airplanes.

It just keeps on coming!

The good news, that is. The new minister overseeing adoptions has been not only chosen but sworn in. Now kindly get to work, sir!

I have been talking with a couple of friends lately about the joys of adopting an older child, and it has left me so excited to have visions of another child walking beside me, holding my hand. I had the very same vision every time I pictured Lily, and now I know that was God's way of preparing me that she would be a toddler and not an infant.

God has turned my heart away from fear of adopting an older child, and even numbed some of my baby fever. I have always-- and I mean like little girl always-- loved little babies, the tinier the better. I babysat my younger cousins from the time I was 9, and when my first niece was born with a broken collarbone, I was thrilled beyond belief that she couldn't be passed around from one baby-loving relative to the next, but instead had to stay in her very happy and quite smug favorite aunt's arms throughout the many Christmas gatherings just a couple of weeks after she was born. (At 10 1/2, I am not any less thrilled when she climbs in my lap, even though she can now fit into my skinny clothes!)

The point is, I never dreamed that I would not grieve never having a newborn, let alone be excited about adopting older children. When God gives you the desires of your heart, sometimes He has to change them first to conform to His desires. I am so glad He knows what my heart truly needs, and I'm so excited to meet the new child He has chosen to occupy my whole heart.

Yes, some movement indeed!

Write this day down: August 31, 2009. It happens to be our 5 year anniversary of living in this house, but more importantly, it's the day that my first ever adoption hope was proved true-- a family has received travel approval to get their little girl from Nepal! I believe they were one of 3 Gladney families who received their referrals a few months ago, so this should mean that 3 orphans are soon to be united with their forever families. Surely the angels are rejoicing with them!

maybe some movement?

It looks like the families who received referrals a few months ago may finally be getting travel approvals from Nepal within the next week. I hate to get my hopes up since the last bit of information that I thought was good turned out to be nothing... but this could be a sign that things are finally moving again.

The other thing that could be good for us is that 90% of Americans with dossiers in Nepal have requested an infant, so we should technically be moved to the top 10% of the list since we requested a 1-3 year old. The majority of dossiers for other countries are also for infants, I think 60%. You would think there would be a great deal more 1-3 year olds in the orphanages since there haven't been any adoptions within the past few years, and Nepal has said in the past that it is their priority to refer older children first, so this may mean we won't have to wait for years. But if I had a dollar for everything that seemed logical in the adoption world that turned out to be completely false, I could not only pay for our adoption, but everyone else's too! (wouldn't that be cool?)

We have a fingerprint appointment!

I'm not going to bother looking at how long this took-- I feel like it was quick so I'm going to enjoy that feeling for tonight. Our local immigration office has changed the way they do things, so we have an actual appointment date the day after Kyle gets back to town next week (so glad that worked out). I'm thinking last time we had our approval about 3 weeks later, so I'm hoping they're still on track with that timing.

Although that means we won't make the August date for sending in our dossier that I foolishly set as a goal, I will still be happy with early September. The only variable that could potentially set us back further is the state criminal background check. A blog friend just got hers so I have an email into her to ask how long it took... I'm afraid I won't like the answer (there I go with the worry again-- stop it!), so pray she says 3 weeks or less. ***Update: she said less than 30 days. I'll take it!

In other news, I got an email response from our agency about what's going in Nepal, and she basically said that this is not new (the political turmoil) and they aren't worried. I'm hoping it's not their version of the "it will happen in the Lord's timing" answer we always got from our last agency. Not that that's not true-- of course this adoption will go according the Lord's perfect timing, and of course I get tremendous comfort and peace from that truth. However, it gets pretty frustrating when you're looking for something other than an obvious-though-valuable Biblical principle from your adoption agency.

things may start moving in Nepal

According to news reports from Nepal, a minister has now been appointed to head the state agency that handles adoptions. Some people had been told that adoptions would not move forward until that person was in place. Let's hope that the converse is also true, and let's also pray for the new minister, Binda Hada.

Let's also pray that we are able to buy health insurance for our little guy. If the health care bill passes, one of the many ill effects is that the type of insurance we have (high deductible HSA) will no longer be available. Supposedly we would be able to keep it if we already have it (I'm not even counting on that), but no new policies could be written. We pay less than $50 per month for Lily's high deductible policy, and we paid over $400 per month for full coverage for her (only did that one month through COBRA). Obviously that would be a big deal for our family, and many others like us who have individual plans.

Please do your part and sign the petition saying no to more government involvement in our health care-- we can't afford it!

Ready to start again

I've been on a major paperwork hiatus since we've been back from California, but I'm ready to dive in again. I did two whole things in the past 24 hours-- found out where to get fingerprinted for our state criminal background checks and confirmed whether the notary language on one of our documents was going to work. The answers were good, so off we go into a week of paperwork. If we can get our fingerprints done and the application mailed off to Austin, then I think that's the last major piece of info that needs to be sent for. The rest are things I can do in my pj's-- financial docs (copying what we already did for our homestudy) and our application letter and some other easy paperwork-- while we wait for the I-171 from USCIS, or Immigration. I know they cashed our check a couple weeks ago, so hopefully we'll get our request to get fingerprinted in the next couple of weeks and our approval by the end of August. That may be optimistic, but I try to be optimistic about one thing at least once a day.

I also asked our agency rep what she thought about the slowdown and whether we were safe sending a huge chunk of money to a country that was apparently eating the money rather than using it for anything adoption-related. As I was writing the email I was struck by the fact that I never would have asked our China agency something so ridiculous. The canned response would have made me choke on my breakfast, so I never bothered to ask much of anything ("While international adoption is very unpredictable, we know that the Lord is in control and we will be sure to pass along any information that we get. The families that just got referrals waited XYZ months.") They didn't happen to tell you that if you took the square root of XYZ and multiplied it by pi then by your birth year, that would be your approximate wait time, which had nothing whatsoever to do with the wait time of the people who just got referrals (people whom God was not trying to teach patience to, apparently, because of their blink-of-an-eye wait time). Anyway, it will be interesting to see how Nepal Agency's response differs. I'll keep you posted.

Da Nile and a Reminder

Last week I was getting pretty discouraged (could you tell) because it yet again appeared that, like with China, our decision to pursue adoption from Nepal had corresponded with a grinding halt to adoptions from that country. I didn't doubt our decision or ask God, "Why this again?" but I did regret making our decision public because all of a sudden happy well wishers made me want to poke somebody's eyes out. (I clearly have issues, I know).

See, I am really good at blocking hurtful things out (or rather pushing them down) and it's hard to do that when other people want to talk about it. (What river in Egypt?) For the Lily process, I was able to stay mostly sane when other China moms appeared to be falling apart at the seams, and the more moms I saw fall apart, the more fervently I prayed that God would keep my wheels from falling off (in public anyway). And though I gave Him all the glory for keeping me sane during the "one year process" that took 3 years, I also know there was a lot of pride associated with my ability to hold it together on the outside. Ooh, layering sin on top of hurt-- never a good idea. I've come to realize that those other moms who I just thought were way too emotional and had far too much time on their hands, were probably in fact a lot better off for being honest about how hard an unpredictable wait was on the sanity. And the waistline. And the husband. But mostly the heart.

So there you go. I've lost all sense of proper tough girl decorum and I'm admitting that I am miserably afraid of another long and unpredictable adoption process. I also know that God said a lot in the Bible to His warriors who were about to dive into something scary at His bidding, including, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9) Even into denial?

No, that's not where He wants me to go, so He's helping me live in reality by showing me little (and big) glimpses of His hand on this adoption. Guess what He did last week? Two days after I wrote a check to USCIS (Immigration), we recieved a check for exactly $20 more than the check to USCIS for some work Kyle did with his dad the week before. Reminds me of Lily's favorite bedtime song these days: "God is so good, He is good to me. Glory Hallelujah, He is good to me."

why I'm not buying boy clothes yet...

Read this article to get more info about what seems to be happening-- or not happening-- in Nepal at the moment. It doesn't make me feel very secure in sending a huge check to them when our dossier is completed (August or September). And this is also why I'm not quoting their original estimate of 6-12 months anymore-- in fact I wish I never repeated that estimate-- and instead I've been saying "probably a couple of years." I'm just hoping I'm not kicking myself in 2 years for making that projection...

Courage

What a great message at church this morning. Have I told you that this adoption scares me to death? The fact that I have no idea how it's going to go, how we are going to pay for it, how old he's going to be, what Lily will think of sharing the spotlight...it all scares me to death. But consistently over the past 3 weeks the Lord has reminded me that He does this to me on purpose. I have to trust Him when I can't figure things out on my own, so He constantly puts things in my path that I can't control. 

The message this morning was about fear being an opportunity to be courageous. God wants us to be courageous in this adoption-- to move forward in obedience even though we don't know how it's going to work out. That's no problem for Kyle-- he is not tempted by fear like I am. One of the principles in the sermon was that we have to be courageous in order for those around us to know that they can trust God when they are courageous. Kyle has beautifully modeled courageous obedience to me, and I'm so thankful for his example. Thank you Kyle, my lion of courage. I love you and I'm proud of the example you are for our family. Your little boy is already blessed by your courage and he doesn't even know it yet.

What do you know about Nepal?

View Larger Map

I'm pretty sure everyone knows that Nepal is home to Mt Everest, along with 8 of the other 10 highest peaks in the world, but don't be embarrassed if you aren't 100% sure where Nepal actually is. I've pasted a map above to show you that it's between India and China (Tibet actually), and though this map cut off most of the word, you can see that Lily's hometown of Chengdu is not too far East and North of Nepal. How cool is that? If you could pan left, you would see that Nepal is about as close to Chengdu as Beijing is.  It would be awesome if we could visit Chengdu while we are on Operation Little Brother, but I'm not sure how feasible that will be. If Lily's at home, we'll want to get back to her ASAP, and if she's with us, I'm sure we'll still want to cut the trip as short as possible.

You may also be wondering what a Nepali child might look like? There are 40 different races and tribes within Nepal so it is quite a diverse country. Based on all of the pictures I've seen, they are a beautiful people and Lily and Lil' Bro may actually look alike. Not that that is a primary concern, but we always thought it would be a "nice to have" for our kids to share something beyond the same parents. Looks like they will both have dark hair, dark eyes and perhaps dark skin. 

Beyond that, we can just wonder if he'll have the same twinkle in his eye as his big sister, or the same long legs and stick-straight hair. What we don't have to wonder about, though, is whether he will be hand-picked by God for our family, because we know without a shred of doubt that God knew since before He formed the Earth that I would be his mom and Kyle would be his dad, and that he'd have an amazing big sister. He even knows what his name will be and whether he'll have any younger siblings. Wish I did!

 

Paper, paper, paper

Our counter looked like this picture for most of last week, and by Monday morning it was all neatly organized in that snazzy accordion file and hand delivered to our (local!) and very sweet and knowledgeable social worker. (If you ever need a social worker in this part of Texas, let me know-- I highly recommend this one.) The other great thing about this home study is that it will be far less expensive than usual because it doesn't have to go through an agency. We're talking a third the amount. Thank you Jesus for something being cheaper for a change!

I only have a couple of documents that I still need to get to her before she does our home visit on Monday, then she can start writing. As soon as she finalizes the home study, we can send it to USCIS with our I-171 (immigration) application. I am hoping that takes no more than 5-7 weeks, during which I can compile the documents for the dossier (some are duplicates from the home study documents). There aren't very many at all compared to China, and they don't have to be certified or authenticated (a ridiculous process where the Texas Secretary of State and Chinese Embassy certify that the documents are real) so a month should be plenty of time to get it done. 

I'm hoping our dossier can be sent to Nepal sometime in August, at which point we can begin our official wait. The program reopened so recently that there really is no way to predict what that wait time will be. I'm just hoping that Lily will have a sibling in her same generation. Beyond that, I hesitate to even wager a guess. Maybe 2010, maybe 2011. Someone else received their referral today, but I don't know when their dossier was sent. It could have been there since before the program closed last year, although some of the people who have sent dossiers this year have received referrals already so it doesn't appear that they are necessarily going in order. 

Until then, I bury myself in paperwork and keep looking for ways that the Lord is providing for this adoption. We can't really afford it, but when we started Lily's adoption we couldn't afford it either. However, God abundantly provided everything we needed for Lily's adoption and I know He will for this one too. (This time I hope He chooses a different way than giving us 2 extra years to earn it, but beggars can't be choosers!) 

Want to know how He has provided already? Yesterday I got a call from the accountant saying our personal and business returns were (finally) ready for me to pick up. I assumed it was bad news since I'd think they'd want to share any good news over the phone (reason #432 why I don't think like an accountant). I didn't think much of it the rest of the day, but at the last minute I remembered to swing by their office on my way out of town. I braced myself as I opened the folder in the parking lot, then I went like this: "!!!!!!".  Because of the adoption tax credit (thank you George Bush!) we are actually getting money back, and it should be enough for the first round of expenses we'll have for Nepal. Yeah! 

Then I remembered what my devotional said that morning that hit me right between the eyes: 

Rest in Me, my child. Give your mind a break from planning and trying to anticipate what will happen. Pray continually, asking My Spirit to take charge of the details of this day. Remember that you are on a journey with Me. When you try to peer into the future and plan for every possibility, you ignore you constant Companion who sustains you moment by moment. As you gaze anxiously into the distance, you don't even feel the strong grip of my hand holding yours. How foolish you are, My child!

Remembrance of Me is a daily discipline. Never lose sight of My Presence with you. This will keep you resting in Me all day, every day.

I Thessalonians 5:17; Psalm 62:5

How foolish I am! I never stop scheming in my mind how everything is going to work - finances, travel, how Lily's going to do with another kid in the house, which room will be his, blah, blah, blah! Planning is not a sin, but scheming because I think I need to figure it all out on my own-- which usually comes with anxiety and worry-- most definitely is. Lord, forgive me for trying to rely on myself. Thank you for your provision, and thank you that it was something I wasn't even expecting so that you could show me that it came from You, not my own schemes and plans. Thank you that you are faithful even when I am not. 

Then Kyle crawls into bed after talking with Kristian on his drive here and tells me that although they loved Kathmandu, it is basically a war zone. Hello fear, you're back so soon! SO GUESS WHAT MY DEVOTIONAL SAID TODAY??? Trust me and don't be afraid. Don't let fear dissipate your energy. Instead, invest your energy in trusting Me and singing My song. The battle for control of your mind is fierce, and years of worry have made you vulnerable to the enemy. Ask Him to control your mind; He will bless you with Life and Peace. Isaiah 12:2; Romans 8:6. I am so thankful that I have a God who knows exactly what I need, when I need it. 

Introducing...

...The Road to Baby Boy Harrell!

Born: Yesterday

Via: Answered prayer

Vital Statistics: Kyle and I have been praying that God would clearly show us how He wants us to build our family. We want more kids but didn't have clear direction on how or when to proceed. All manners of building our family cost money, which does not floweth over since I quit my job last year, and though we really wanted to return to China since we left our hearts there, that door has closed for us since they changed their guidelines in 2007. 

So we started praying that God would show us what to do, and I was asking Him to please do it soon (in His timing, of course... but c'mon already!) I've had the baby fever bad lately, and Lily is already 2 1/2 and I'd love for her to grow up with siblings in her same generation, you know? Plus, Kyle and I are not getting any younger.

Anyway, Kyle felt led to pursue another adoption from Asia, but it didn't look like China, Korea or Taiwan were an option for several reasons. Then I happened upon Nepal when looking on Rainbow Kids. I assumed it wasn't an option since I hadn't heard much about it, but I read a family's story about it and it seemed appealing, so I filled out the contact form on Rainbow Kids for agencies participating in Nepal to contact me. 

I started getting emails from agencies saying their Nepal program was full for 2009, and some even for 2010 so I didn't have much hope until I heard from one agency that they had just had a family drop out so they had an opening. I immediately got excited (not new for me-- I can get excited about pretty much any chance at a child) and talked to Kyle about it. And here's the difference-- he got excited too so we sent our application after praying and doing a little more research.

Well that was only yesterday and already I have a pile of stuff for our home study and a social worker waiting in the wings. We all have doctor's appointments in the next 2 weeks and I just did our Texas Department of Safety Criminal Checks online. I think we set a record for the slowest paperchase for Lily (10 months) and I'm trying to set another one this time for the fastest. No moss will be growing under my pile of paper! My fingers have been itching to get this going and I'm so glad God (and Kyle) finally gave the green light! Thank you both!

We wanted a boy anyway but Nepal only lets you adopt a child of the opposite gender. We are asking for as young as possible, and they require that he be younger than Lily, so we can only guarantee that he will be younger than her, and I'm assuming she'll be 4 by the time we get a referral. I am thinking 18-24 months from now, although it could be sooner (as if THAT ever happens in the adoption world). If I had a dollar for every ridiculous prediction I made during our Lily-chase.... so I'm leery of making them now. But I have the walking talking reminder that God is in control of the timing and He can and will move mountains and governments to make sure the child He has chosen us for comes home at the appointed time. I just hope He's setting an early appointment for BBH!

Anyway, we are excited and hopeful but also guarded. Nepal is a beautiful but unstable country as far as the government goes, and adoptions have temporarily closed several times. And their Prime Minister stepped down last month so it's been even more tumultuous of late. Still, referrals have begun to arrive for families who submitted their documents when the program reopened in January, so we're hoping that's a good sign.

So here we go again! Get your dramamine and boy stuff out if you want to come along.